Football Nicknames

For a brief moment in time, it seemed that learning world capitals was going to be the next big thing. People were all like “Podgorica this” and “Funafuti that.”

That fizzled faster than the idea of paying more than $1 for a cupcake, but you can’t hold good trivia down.

With that in mind we’re here to start a new, hot trivia trend – national football team nicknames. Keep in mind in this case we mean football as in “soccer.”

We’ve found through painstaking research that national nicknames tend be filed under one of a few distinct categories:

1.) animals

2.) unimaginative/lazy/nondescript (this includes all teams that refer to themselves as a color, or use a generic adjective to describe their performance)

3.)  _____ Boys(z), [Caribbean squads especially like this formula]

4.) funny natural resource boast/well thought out/generally awesome team name

5.) And last but not least, the ‘maybe this means something different in your native tongue?’ category.

Let’s look at some highlights from around the world.

Animals

Probably the most popular nomenclature category for soccer squads the world over, you wouldn’t believe some of the animals entire countries have agreed to name their national team after.

Super Eagles – Nigeria

Eagles of Carthage – Tunisia

The Sparrowhawks – Togo

The Brave Falcons – Montenegro

Red Snappers – Maldives

Togo Sparrowhawks – so hot in Williamsburg right now.

Unimaginative/lack of effort:

The National Team: Afghanistan

The National Team: Iran

The National Team: The Czech Republic

Guys of Guadeloupe: Guadeloupe

Wonder Team: Austria

Awesome/Natural Resource Boast

Rake n’ Scrape Boys – Bahamas

Nile Crocodiles – Sudan

The Pirate Ship – Greece

The Land of Fire – Azerbaijan

Street Dogs – Philippines

Pinol Makers – Nicaragua (pinol is apparently some kind of national booze)

The Copper Bullets – Zambia

The Coffee Growers – Colombia

Spice Boyz – Grenada

Vincy Heat – St. Vincent & the Grenadines

Bizarre, Yet Alluring:

Ten-thousand Mile Horse – North Korea (Gotta find a way to leverage all that NK crazy toward something positive)

NK’s disappointing logo with no 10,000-mile horse.

The Most Serenity – San Marino (Can you imagine an American sports team of any kind using a name like this? Europe this is the sort of stuff that makes us not take you too seriously)

The Squirrels – Benin (Love those fightin,’ bitin’ squirrels! Hate that parliament is trying to switch it to ‘Emerging Panthers.’)

Green Man – Turkmenistan

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