Face Off! Fergusson vs. Fraser

Welcome to our new Face Off! series, where we pit various F-things against one another and pick a winner through circumstantial evidence, biased preference or other arbitrary means.

This week we’re reigniting a good old-fashioned clan feud between Scottish surnames. Today’s battle pits two of the real Tartan titans: the Fergussons vs. the Frasers.

Which clan is better? Which has contributed more to society? Who has committed less hooliganism?

We’ll settle this Highland haver-fest once and for all today!

First let me begin by saying how much I respect the good people of Scotland. So hardy, independent, red-haired and good humored… That said, let the drinking jokes and Groundskeeper Willie references commence.

Clan Fergusson

As best as anyone can recall, the Fergusson Clan derived their name from Fergus of Galloway, who lived in the 1100s. No one is certain of this, as everyone has been pretty drunk since then. Regardless, the Fergussons have emanated out from Scotland to accomplish great things on the world scene. Take a moment to consider all the famous Fergies out there: Fergie (royalty), Fergie (the singer), Fergie (the legendary coach of Manchester United), and even honorary Fergie, Cubs hero Fergie Jenkins. From sport to poetry and pretty much everything in between, the Fergussons have had an outsized influence on culture.

Fergie’s ’81 Fleer card.

There is no doubt the Fergussons have the advantage over the Frasers when it comes to fame. Their clout has enabled them to enjoy a long history of naming things after themselves. In addition to securing city names in Missouri, North Carolina and Minnesota (Fergus Falls), they have even managed to name an island near Papua New Guinea for themselves, a college in India, and claim a river in Australia.  All in all it’s a pretty impressive body of work.

Also an awesome crest.

The Fergusson crest motto: “Sweeter after difficulties.”

Clan Fraser

While the Fergussons have achieved fame in the worlds of sport and entertainment, the Frasers have had an impressive run in the realms of politics and warfare. In addition to having had a Prime Minister in Australia and New Zealand, the Frasers can lay claim to “having been involved in nearly every conflict Scotland has been taken part in since the 13th Century.”

And as far as naming things after themselves, they’ve kept pace with the Fergussons by managing to dub Fraser town names in Michigan and Colorado; and also getting rivers in Canada AND Australia. Where they get a bit more separation is the coup of having a tree named for them. And not just any tree, the Fraser Fir is better known as the quintessential Christmas tree!

Including the corrupted forms of Fraser, the clan hasn’t been too shabby in entertainment and sports as well. Frasier was a fine show, and the Fraziers have done quite well in sport including but not limited to: Walt “Clyde” for the Knicks, Tommie for Nebraska, and Kiehl for Auburn (2013 National Champs write it down!).

Our intern originally reported the Fraser crest motto to mean, “Jesuit priests rock!” We have since been informed it means, “I am ready.” Sorry about that, he’s been fired.

Face Off Verdict…

So as with all Face Offs, there can be only one. Anyone who watched any of the Highlander movies knows this.

Anyways today’s winner, by the slimmest of margins, is…

THE FRASERS.

Congrats Fraser Clan!

The strength of the majestic Fraser Fir, contrasting with the awfulness of Fergie’s music with the Black Eyed Peas, was the real difference maker here today. It really was very close so don’t feel bad Fergussons! Keep your chins high and your kilts low.

Join us again next time for another installment of Face Off!

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1 Comment

Filed under Face Off!

One response to “Face Off! Fergusson vs. Fraser

  1. Paul Washington

    Smokin’ Joe would have been so proud.

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