Five Fluffy Animals

I want to start with an acknowledgement that fluffy animals are not the sort of manly thing we usually discuss around here. But if having a daughter has reminded me of anything, it’s that fluffy animals are indeed delightful. I don’t care who hears me say that.

We’re gonna take this even further… Not only are we presenting a list of 5 of the world’s fluffiest animals, we are ranking them according to snuggle-ability; meaning the animals we’d most like to snuggle.

Of course this is a bit arbitrary but those are the parameters as set by my lil’ pumpkin – who you DO NOT want to cross.

Without further ado let’s continue the time-honored art of making arbitrary lists about animals!

5. Hedgehog– Most of us think of Sonic when we think hedgehogs. Athletic, spry, highly motivated ring-grabbing heroes… Man what a misleading portrayal. It turns out that real hedgehogs are hilariously fluffy globs of slothful helplessness. Perfect for snuggling though.

No chance he’d make it around one of those loop-de-loops and defeat Dr. Robotnik.

4. Bear cub (black, brown or polar) – There’s just something so alluring about danger-snuggling something so powerful that could potentially eat you like a flopping salmon.

3. Golden Lion Tamarin – Despite a traumatic childhood event involving a ferocious monkey attack (“Surely this monkey tethered to a tree outside our shady hotel here in Costa Rica is tame and trustworthy? OH NO HE BITES GET HIM OFF AHHH!!!”), this little fella could be the bridge I need to turn my night terrors into sweet dreams.

2. Arctic Fox – I had a business idea a couple years back where you charge people to take naps with a skulk of arctic foxes. (Any angel investors out there want in on the ground level of an exciting opportunity???) Living in Florida and finding out that arctic foxes are extremely aggressive face-rippers have hampered this initiative’s progress.

1. Red Panda – Red Pandas might be the cutest animals in the world. Relatives to the larger black and white pandas, raccoons, and of course Mario from Super Mario 3 (after getting the leaf), I wouldn’t mind having to vacuum all that red fluff out of the carpet if a pumpernickel of pandas* came to visit.

*Since red pandas tend to be solitary creatures and therefore don’t have a group nickname, let’s just go with “pumpernickel of pandas” for now. 

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5 Comments

Filed under F Lists, Fatherhood, Flora + Fauna

5 responses to “Five Fluffy Animals

  1. Paul Washington

    My brothers and I used to refer to Raccoon Mario as “Triple Stuff Mario”– Little Mario was “Regular Mario” and Big (post-mushroom) Mario was “Double Stuff Mario.”

  2. This was a great post. Keep it up!

  3. Do one on fluffy fish. Betcha it’d be a shortie.

  4. Impybat

    Mighty F, did you hear about the red panda twins that were recently born at the Cotswold Wildlife Park? They just came out of their nest box for the first time.

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