Category Archives: Face Off!

Final Four Face Off!

Here’s a quick breakdown of how we here at TMF view this year’s Final Four matchups. We’re of course talking about which school’s animal mascot would emerge victorious in a real-life tussle if they were to meet in the wilderness or wherever. For the sake of making the matchups more competitive and in the interest of keeping PETA off our backs, let’s just assume these bouts are non-lethal skirmishes where the victor just needs to force a submission or chase his opponent away.

As for the actual Final Four, I have no idea who will win the games. The last time I paid close attention to college basketball I was still collecting pogs. So while I can’t really speak to the basketball aspect of the Final Four, I have spent plenty of time thinking about who would win in various animal skirmish scenarios. So that should lend a certain gravitas to these very important predictions.

Wisconsin Badgers vs. Kentucky Wildcats

At first glance, this may look like a pretty easy win for the wildcat. A wildcat is much bigger than a badger and certainly would seem to have just about every physical advantage. It is no doubt a finely tuned killing machine that would have no problem dispatching most NCAA mascots (including my beloved Sebastian the Ibis, who would no doubt be quickly savaged by even a juvenile wildcat). Continue reading

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Face Off! Fanta vs. Faygo

We’ve got ourselves a humdinger of a mid-level soda battle today! Both with a chip on their shoulder, something to prove, and a formidable list of hilarious discontinued flavors to consider, this should really be an epic bout.

Who will win? Who will lose, and be bumped down the list of soda obscurity behind the likes of Chek Cola, Grapico, RC, or that warm banana soda they sell in Haiti?

Full disclosure: I have not officially “tasted” a Faygo product. I don’t think I’ve had a Fanta either, so this judgment will be based largely on speculation, marketing and flavor ambitiousness.

FAYGO

Straight out of Detroit, we first have the Faygo brand.  While I have never personally ventured to the fair city of Detroit, we do love underdogs here as well as woeful entities in need of support. This most definitely gives Faygo an early edge before we even start judging. Continue reading

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Face Off! FoxTrot vs. Far Side, The

This week’s face off pits two of the greatest comic strips of the recent era against one another: FoxTrot vs. The Far Side. Both very funny, both with loyal followings and a stellar run of success, but today only one can emerge victorious. The loser of course shall go down in ignominious defeat – relegated to the scrap heap of Comics shame – next to The Lockhorns, or Cathy.

“There can be only one!” — All the Highlander movies Continue reading

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Face Off! Fergusson vs. Fraser

Welcome to our new Face Off! series, where we pit various F-things against one another and pick a winner through circumstantial evidence, biased preference or other arbitrary means.

This week we’re reigniting a good old-fashioned clan feud between Scottish surnames. Today’s battle pits two of the real Tartan titans: the Fergussons vs. the Frasers.

Which clan is better? Which has contributed more to society? Who has committed less hooliganism?

We’ll settle this Highland haver-fest once and for all today!

First let me begin by saying how much I respect the good people of Scotland. So hardy, independent, red-haired and good humored… That said, let the drinking jokes and Groundskeeper Willie references commence.

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