Category Archives: Film, F Entertainment

Fisto

By: Paul Washington
Look, I’m not even going to make a joke here.  Yes, there’s a He-Man character with an over-sized metal right hand named Fisto… and he’s heard them all.

“Middle School was the most difficult time of my life.” — Fisto

For those of you in the 25-and-under age range, “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” was a cartoon created in the early 1980s exclusively to sell action figures. (Think “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” without the compelling backstory.)
Most of the characters in the series were villains who spent much of their time devising schemes to destroy the series’ titular hero, He-Man.  Fisto was an outlier in that he was one of the few “good guy” characters who fought alongside He-Man.

Here’s a shot of Fisto and He-Man bro-ing out. Remember, this was back in the mid-80s, when it was perfectly acceptable for children to look up to He-Man, a shirtless man with a mom haircut.

Fisto’s gigantic right fist came in handy for smashing rocks and for general intimidation purposes; though it couldn’t have been good for his shoulder and elbow joints.  He also sported a manly reddish-brown beard that paired well with his slicked-back coiffure.  What he lacked in ability to pass through airport metal detectors, he made up for in rugged handsomeness. Continue reading
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Filed under F Abstract Concepts, Film, F Entertainment, Folks

Farley, Chris: A Remembrance

We’re thrilled to have with us today without a doubt the 3rd greatest Washington (just behind George and Denzel) the world has ever known: Mr. Paul Washington. Legendary in North Florida, beloved in South Florida, pretty obscure elsewhere in Florida; Paul is a southpaw with surprising speed, a legal expert, and a gifted writer. Please enjoy this piece he wrote to honor the memory of Chris Farley; a true mega-talent we were all sad to lose nearly 15 years ago.

By: Paul Washington

Chris Farley was my generation’s John Belushi — a prodigiously talented comedian whose appetite for hard drugs and hard living eventually snuffed out his brightly shining flame. Here at The Mighty F, we prefer to remember Farley as the man who made a career out of fidgeting, yelling, and making sharp, quick fat guy movements and not dwell on the life cut short.

Farley projected a Midwestern sweetness about him that endeared him to the audience. In one of his well known Saturday Night Live sketches, “The Chris Farley Show” he would nervously ask questions to celebrities and subsequently berate himself for coming off as stupid. Who can forget when he asked Paul McCartney, “Remember when you were in the Beatles?” and Martin Scorsese, concerning his film The Last Temptation of Christ, “Remember when Jesus goes into the temple, and the moneychangers are there, and Jesus starts punching ’em out and starts turning over the tables and He just loses it on that one guy? Was that your idea?”

When he wasn’t nervously fidgeting, he was yelling and falling through furniture and walls while playing such memorable characters as over-caffeinated motivational speaker Matt Foley…

And sometimes just falling through curtains as himself…

After leaving SNL, he attained more widespread success through starring roles in feature films such as Tommy Boy, Black Sheep
and Beverly Hills Ninja, just to name a few. Little known fact: Farley was also originally supposed to be the voice of Shrek, but was replaced with SNL castmate Mike Myers following his death.

It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 15 years since the world lost Chris Farley. Don’t bother looking it up, it was December 18, 1997; just 4 days before my 18th birthday. The fact that I quote Tommy Boy or “Jimmy” from Dirty Work no fewer than 10 times per day even now is a testament to the impact he had on my life… either that, or that I watch too much TV.

We will always remember Farley for making us laugh. You made our lives better Chris, thank you! You are missed.

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F TV Shows: The Best Shows of All Time (That Start With F)

After much debate and painstaking research we have finally reached a consensus on this most controversial, most divisive, most incendiary of lists. This list is certain to cause an uproar and quite possibly could tear the F community apart, but we are not here to make the easy decisions. Without further ado we give you the greatest television programs of all time (that start with F).

15. Father Dowling Mysteries – Have you seen this 90s Family Channel cult favorite? It’s great! I believe it was on after Empty Nest. Let me give you a rundown: Tom Bosley is a priest who teams with a nun to solve mysteries. That’s pretty much it.

14. Frasier – I’ll be honest, didn’t much care for this show when it was still on, but since being forced to watch it on airplanes and on sick days I’ve really come around. Frasier and Niles are a real hoot and I like that dog.

13. Freaks and Geeks – This beloved, delightful coming of age program perfectly captured that awkward 80s teen angst in a meaningful way. Continue reading

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Farkus, Scut

We are delighted today to welcome a true legend into our midst. Renowned for his expertise in litigation, political science, fantasy baseball and dinosaurs, Jean Duglás is also an accomplished author, Southern gentleman, dead-eye jumpshooter and feted uncle. Enjoy…

By: Jean Duglás

Scut Farkus.  He’s evil incarnate in coon-skin maraudering somewhere in the Rust Belt.  He’s making you kiss frozen metal objects.  He’s grabbed your wrist and applied enough torque to your Glenohumeral joint to make you yell for that creepy guy married to your mom’s sister.  He was the bane of Ralphie’s existence.

But Farkus is much, much more.

Farkus, Scut.

As an avid Second Amendment enthusiast, A Christmas Story is one of my favorite movies. Aside from the important message about the importance of further arming America’s youth, Farkus, and more importantly Ralphie’s ultimate response to Farkus, epitomizes the gusto with which I hope every EFFER* [that’s what you call TMF readers, right?] attacks life. Continue reading

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Frodo

By now you are sensing a strong recurring underdog theme. Let’s keep it going. (Sorry Sauron, NY Yankees and Manchester United 🙂

We all love the little hobbit with the disgusting large, hairy feet. He is perhaps the ultimate underdog – maybe even the world’s most famous outside of David. But can we be brutally honest here for a moment and confess that Frodo is a little bit annoying?

Don’t get me wrong; I love LOTR. We used to watch the Two Towers battle scene to get pumped up before football Saturdays in college.

But this complaining “feeble hobbit in distress” shtick gets old. “Oh I’m so tempted by evil and scared all the time…Let’s talk some more about how scared and unqualified we all are for this task…”

Just shut it and throw the dadgum thing into that fire hole.

Of course I’m teasing. Any negative thing I say about LOTR is more an implication of my inability to sit still for 3+ hours.

Despite all his complaining, certainly Frodo is the hero we all wish to be. Just like him, we must walk through life ill-equipped for arduous, seemingly undoable tasks. We trudge along with our cartoonish body parts and dubious friends in tow – all along trying to destroy these bad things and habits we deem precious, but just might kill us.

For more on Frodo, click here.

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Fredo

Why we’re more like Fredo than anyone else…

Which Corleone are you most like?

If we were to take a poll asking which Godfather fella we most resemble, I would imagine most everyone would answer either Don Vito, the wise, powerful boss, or Michael, the confident, capable one who commands respect. Sure, Sonny was a hothead, but he’s probably popular enough to pull a few votes (pre-Tommy-gunning).

Almost assuredly, no one would say Fredo – the insecure, overlooked, dim, traitorous brother. Yet Fredo (real name John Cazale), more than anyone in the famiglia, reflects the reality of what we’re really like.

At our core, we’re all such fragile, squirrely, conniving, self-serving, devious creatures. No one likes to think of themselves in this way, but it’s true.

Perhaps you’ve never arranged for a hit on your sibling in an effort to solidify your position of authority in an organized crime family, but how often do we throw people under the bus in more subtle ways? A lie here, a derisive comment there; a bit of tattling on a perceived rival. We’re more efficient than hyenas when it comes to exploiting others’ weaknesses. Yet when it’s time to stand up and do the right thing, we turn turtle.

We don’t sermonize much at the Mighty F, but the spiritual parallel here is irresistible. While the ruthless world rejects, chews up and disposes of the weak, the spineless, and all the Fredos of the world, it’s nice to know that Jesus says otherwise. He reinforces the inherent value of people with the sort of character deficiencies we bulldoze in this world – the meek, the poor in spirit – and even says they will inherit the land.

Grace for underdogs.

So instead of being whacked in a fishing boat like we probably deserve, we get a place at the head of the table. Instead of getting, “I knew it was you, you broke my heart,” then receiving our fate of sleeping with the fishes, we get, “I knew it was you, but I forgive you and love you, always.” 

So here’s to Fredo, and the hope that there is redemption for all us broken down humans with the worst features of hyenas and turtles thrown into the mix. Here’s to an offer of grace we can’t *refuse!

*Look for future discussions on this topic of whether or not we’re able to ultimately reject grace, under “Free Will,” or possibly “Foosball.” Probably “Free Will.”

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