An excerpt from a new show we’re pitching to A & E called Flossing: Scared Straight.
<Cut to a middle-aged man with bad teeth, addressing a group of troubled youngsters>
Y’all just take a seat right over there. I wanna talk about your teeth.
I used to be just like you. Cruisin’ through life, not thinking about my teeth. Sure, I knew in the back of my mind it was wrong to not floss; I had seen the commercials and whatnot. Momma always told me it was important. I suppose I knew there would be consequences one day. But I didn’t care; I was young and invincible, right?
<really starts yelling and getting into frightened kids’ faces> Look at me! Look at me now! You don’t want to be like me! Bleeding gums, needing a prescription mouthwash and a special toothbrush…
You think this is funny? Advanced stage gingivitis homey!
Listen, y’all. I see a lot of nasty snaggleteeth here today. I bet not one of you has flossed in the past month. <gets into one kid’s face in particular> I know you haven’t. Have you? Have you, Hollister T-shirt?
Man, they don’t even know! You talk to them. Continue reading