Tag Archives: america

Four Freedoms

We are delighted to welcome back our resident historian and stalwart friend today, Mr. Paul Washington. Please take a few moments to enjoy this timely reflection, and to appreciate all those who have sacrificed on our behalf.

In January of 1941, the United States was just beginning to emerge from the throes of the decade-long Great Depression. We were aware of the burgeoning war that had begun across the Atlantic, but our young men would not be called into full-fledged battle until that terrible attack on Pearl Harbor some 11 months later.

It was against this historical backdrop that President Franklin Delano Roosevelt delivered his State of the Union Address to a joint session of Congress and, via radio broadcast, to the citizens of the United States. He closed his speech with the now-famous “Four Freedoms Discourse,” in which he espoused the four freedoms essential to all of humanity: freedom of speech and expression, freedom of religion, freedom from want, and freedom from fear.
President Roosevelt's speech inspired four paintings by Norman Rockwell.  Clockwise from upper-left: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom from fear, and freedom from want.

President Roosevelt’s speech inspired four paintings by Norman Rockwell. Clockwise from upper-left: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom from fear, and freedom from want.

In light of today being a day set aside to honor our Veterans, we here at The Mighty F would like to take this opportunity to dedicate our little corner of the world wide web to honor those who have fought on our behalf to secure President Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms.  The text of the Four Freedoms Discourse is below:

“In the future days, which we seek to make secure, we look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms.”

“The first is freedom of speech and expression — everywhere in the world. The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way — everywhere in the world.  The third is freedom from want, which, translated into world terms, means economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime life for its inhabitants — everywhere in the world.  The fourth is freedom from fear, which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression against any neighbor — anywhere in the world.”

“That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the very antithesis of the so-called “new order” of tyranny which the dictators seek to create with the crash of a bomb. To that new order we oppose the greater conception — the moral order. A good society is able to face schemes of world domination and foreign revolutions alike without fear. Since the beginning of our American history we have been engaged in change, in a perpetual, peaceful revolution, a revolution which goes on steadily, quietly, adjusting itself to changing conditions without the concentration camp or the quicklime in the ditch. The world order which we seek is the cooperation of free countries, working together in a friendly, civilized society. This nation has placed its destiny in the hands and heads and hearts of its millions of free men and women, and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God. Freedom means the supremacy of human rights everywhere. Our support goes to those who struggle to gain those rights and keep them. Our strength is our unity of purpose. To that high concept there can be no end save victory.”

*Paul is a proud son of Madison County, Florida, home of WWII hero Capt. Colin P. Kelly, Jr., and location of the Four Freedoms Monument, which was commissioned by President Roosevelt.

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Filed under F Commentary, F History, Fighting, Foreign Policy Fixes

Future Forecastings: Fortune 500s

As our world continues to careen uncontrollably toward the fulfillment of every major plot point from Idiocracy, we’d like to offer up this list of future companies that may very well make the Fortune 500 list in the coming years.

Cheeto Lint Roll, Inc. – Too tired to get up and wash all that Cheeto-dust off your hands? Don’t feel like expending the effort to lick the cheetle off your fingers? Try new Cheeto-Dust Lint Rollers! They’ll peel all that unwanted Cheeto surplus right off without all the hassle of getting off the couch! Cool Ranch Rollers sold separately.

All-Purpose Food Waffler – Wish everything you eat could be turned into a waffle? Well now you can thanks to the amazing Food Waffler! Simply place any food item inside the state-of-the-art All-Purpose Food Waffler©, push the ‘Waffle’ button, and wait for your food item to be compressed into a waffle-like shape!

Car Cruise Missile Outfitters – Attempts to circumvent the Handgun Ban of 2030 will result in the proliferation of vehicles being armed with mini cruise missile systems, both for safety and as a means to facilitate the resolution of traffic disputes. We can’t be more than 15 years away from it being totally normal to see soccer moms driving Honda Odysseys equipped with heat-seeking Tomahawk missiles.

Hydra-Pants® – This one’s actually semi-serious. I came up with this idea a few years ago after nearly melting to death in Hyderabad: Pants with an internal cooling system for the working man on the go.

Nervous on a first date? Have an aversion to shorts; or prefer to wear pants even in the dead of summer in an effort to hide the leg scars which bear witness to your dark past as a boar wrestler? No problem, just hit the switch on your Hydra-Pants and let the cooling system do its magic. It may be summer on the outside, but it’s winter for your undercarriage year-round!

Sure it’s a stupid idea but you know they’d sell like a billion of these.

Rent-A-Drone – Like to know what people are doing? Want to know what that shady neighbor’s up to? Have a sneaking suspicion that a coup is brewing in Bermuda and want to do a little reconnaissance? Hire a drone for the day and find out for sure.

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Flopping

There are a lot of irritating things about sports. The fans (looking at you ‘Bama, Jets, Yankees enthusiasts), the commercials (looking at you FLO FROM PROGRESSIVE), the $11 beers, cheapskate owners (OBVIOUSLY LOOKING AT YOU JEFF LORIA), pompous players with an outsize opinion of themselves. But almost all of these sports-related aggravations are off-the-field matters. The games themselves are for the most part, beautiful.

There is however one dastardly phenomenon that continues to sully the good name of sports everywhere. It is an increasingly alarming problem that must be stopped, lest we anger the gods of athletics and sportsmanship to their breaking point; leaving them no choice but to destroy us all (or to leave us only with NASCAR as punishment).

We are of course talking about the shameful act of FLOPPING. Continue reading

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Face Off! Fanta vs. Faygo

We’ve got ourselves a humdinger of a mid-level soda battle today! Both with a chip on their shoulder, something to prove, and a formidable list of hilarious discontinued flavors to consider, this should really be an epic bout.

Who will win? Who will lose, and be bumped down the list of soda obscurity behind the likes of Chek Cola, Grapico, RC, or that warm banana soda they sell in Haiti?

Full disclosure: I have not officially “tasted” a Faygo product. I don’t think I’ve had a Fanta either, so this judgment will be based largely on speculation, marketing and flavor ambitiousness.

FAYGO

Straight out of Detroit, we first have the Faygo brand.  While I have never personally ventured to the fair city of Detroit, we do love underdogs here as well as woeful entities in need of support. This most definitely gives Faygo an early edge before we even start judging. Continue reading

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Freebird

You’ve probably heard the song. You most likely know at least some of the words, have cranked it on the radio, and dare I guess, you’ve fervently air guitar’d along with it at some point.  But for those of you in far-flung places like Australia, Belgium, or Ohio, you may not fully appreciate the true meaning – the profound cultural weight – of Freebird.

Before we dive in to this very important topic, a brief geographical/cultural explanation of the Southern U.S. for our wonderfully diverse audience…

Like yours truly, Lynyrd Skynyrd (the creators of Freebird, and most other awesome rock ballads) originated in the great state of Florida. While I come from the southern quadrant of Florida, which is decidedly ‘Northern’ in culture, the boys from ‘Skynyrd hailed from the northern part of the state; which is undoubtedly ‘Southern.’ For the sake of time, in this case let’s just use ‘Southern’ to represent manners, rockin’ but stayin’ humble, a slow pace of life, and respecting mama, and ‘Northern’ to mean honking at everything and being rude to waitresses.

Humble Beginnings, Melting Faces, Uniting Generations, Changing the World Continue reading

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Filed under F Commentary, Florida