Here’s a quick breakdown of how we here at TMF view this year’s Final Four matchups. We’re of course talking about which school’s animal mascot would emerge victorious in a real-life tussle if they were to meet in the wilderness or wherever. For the sake of making the matchups more competitive and in the interest of keeping PETA off our backs, let’s just assume these bouts are non-lethal skirmishes where the victor just needs to force a submission or chase his opponent away.
As for the actual Final Four, I have no idea who will win the games. The last time I paid close attention to college basketball I was still collecting pogs. So while I can’t really speak to the basketball aspect of the Final Four, I have spent plenty of time thinking about who would win in various animal skirmish scenarios. So that should lend a certain gravitas to these very important predictions.
Wisconsin Badgers vs. Kentucky Wildcats
At first glance, this may look like a pretty easy win for the wildcat. A wildcat is much bigger than a badger and certainly would seem to have just about every physical advantage. It is no doubt a finely tuned killing machine that would have no problem dispatching most NCAA mascots (including my beloved Sebastian the Ibis, who would no doubt be quickly savaged by even a juvenile wildcat). Continue reading