Tag Archives: dinosaurs

Foreva? Foreva-eva?

Today we’re talking about the concept of eternity. You know, that never-ending expanse of time that, according to many major religions, awaits us all once we shuffle off our mortal coils. Our bodies die but our immortal souls linger on forever and ever yada yada yada.

Before we get going, I want to note that for this particular piece I’d just like to consider what a positive eternal setup might look like. While it’s hard to refute that all of us deserve some sort of punishment after we die (or at least be made to perform some sort of embarrassing musical number in front of all the assembled nations, tribes and judgmental peers), I’d rather not spend time speculating on what a negative eternity might consist of. I can’t even imagine a never-ending DMV trip or traffic jam, much less with flames.

Moving forward with the ‘positive afterlife scenario’ paradigm, what will we do with all that time after we die? Christians, Muslims, Jews, Mormons, Hindus and most other religions all have different ideas of how the hereafter works. Zoroastrianism contends that the righteous will forever reign with Ahura Mazda.  (sounds so peaceful and automotive!)

We have the official orthodox party lines from all these religions about what eternity will consist of and how we’ll spend our time. Most of which seem to predict various forms of idyll, worship, pleasure and ongoing paradise. Sounds pretty cool.

But how about some specifics? I have so many questions about this arrangement.

I suppose no one alive really knows exactly how it all works. What eternity looks like and consists of is one of those mysteries of the universe we’ll just have to wait on, so in the meantime let’s do what we do best here: offer up some wild speculation, outside-the-box thoughts, unsubstantiated hypotheses, and hopeful guess-ery.

Involvement with Human Affairs

If we learned anything from Angels in the Outfield (other than the fact that Tony Danza had clearly never thrown a baseball in his life previous to filming this movie), it’s that the dead have the power to exert influence over the outcomes of sporting events. I imagine this sort of thing will occupy much of our time (such as Auburn’s Chris Davis being carried on sweet angels’ wings all the way to the end zone in last year’s supernatural Iron Bowl).

Chris Davis, flying to sport glory on the wings of blessed angels?

Chris Davis, flying to sport glory on the wings of blessed angels?

Perhaps we will also be involved with the living in other ways, like Clarence in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Maybe the recently deceased are immediately given ‘helper’ or ‘guardian angel’ tasks? If this is the case, it will be interesting to see whether or not we are assigned to monitor a geographic area, specific individuals, or if we’re just supposed to be on the lookout for certain problems (i.e. bridge jumpers, weaving motorcyclists, rollerbladers with no brakes, drunk people trying to feed animals.) Continue reading

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Filed under F Abstract Concepts, F Commentary, Faith

Foreign, Familiar Faces

One of the greatest things about our world is that everyone is different. Every person is a unique snowflake.

However some snowflakes are not quite so unique. The truth is that many of us look exactly like other people. In my case that has unfortunately mostly led to Rick Moranis or Steve-O from Jackass comparisons (save one glorious time when a small, possibly nearsighted child misidentified me as very tall NFL quarterback Matt Ryan), but for better or worse, almost all of us look like someone else.

Even the world’s powerful elite are not immune from looking like other people. No corridor of power is untouched by this phenomenon. When I first saw His Holiness Pope Francis I thought he was Rudolph Giuliani. Or maybe Dennis Hopper.

Here are a few other examples of world leaders past and present who look like someone else. Continue reading


Filed under F Lists

Flora + Fauna

Stumbled upon a fantastic resource the other day – the BBC Nature section. For those of us who like to use collective nouns the correct way (the team IS vs. the team ARE), and spell diarrhea the way God intended (not “I’ve got the diarrhoea, guv’na”), the BBC can be a bit much. If you’re strong enough to stomach a healthy dose of Britishness, I highly recommend this tremendous resource for all things flora + fauna.

Last week’s segment about cockroaches was a must-read, and the Dino Section, don’t get me started! They’ve created these vivid, intense dinosaur videos that will knock your socks off and give you night terrors for months.

Here’s a direct link to the Nature section so you can avoid the homepage which is always full of the BBC’s classic passive-aggressive, insulting headlines; where they use those sarcastic quotes to make someone else’s words convey what they really want to say without actually saying it themselves.

Americans ‘Fat Like Walruses’

Americans ‘Ruining Everything’

Yanks ‘Dumber Than Bags of Rocks’

would be some pretty typical examples.

Don’t let those headlines get you down! Go learn something and share your newly acquired flora + fauna knowledge with others today.


Filed under Flora + Fauna


The official dino of the Mighty F blog, the Futalognkosaurus was allegedly 111 feet long! These hungry fellows roamed the Patagonia region of Argentina, where they eventually went extinct – presumably due to a lot of them falling over. Mass chokings seem like a real possibility as well with all that neck.

R.I.P. my friend, I hope I get to ride you in heaven.

Roar why am I so hungry all the time?

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Filed under Flora + Fauna