Tag Archives: soccer

Flopping

There are a lot of irritating things about sports. The fans (looking at you ‘Bama, Jets, Yankees enthusiasts), the commercials (looking at you FLO FROM PROGRESSIVE), the $11 beers, cheapskate owners (OBVIOUSLY LOOKING AT YOU JEFF LORIA), pompous players with an outsize opinion of themselves. But almost all of these sports-related aggravations are off-the-field matters. The games themselves are for the most part, beautiful.

There is however one dastardly phenomenon that continues to sully the good name of sports everywhere. It is an increasingly alarming problem that must be stopped, lest we anger the gods of athletics and sportsmanship to their breaking point; leaving them no choice but to destroy us all (or to leave us only with NASCAR as punishment).

We are of course talking about the shameful act of FLOPPING. Continue reading

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Fifteen Famous Franks

We’ve received feedback from people named Frank who are upset over the lack of respect given to their noble name these days. Sadly, the “Frank Crisis” is only part of a larger (disturbing) phenomenon of workmanlike, unassuming, boring-yet-perfectly-serviceable names vanishing from our increasingly fancy modern planet.

Franks of the world, we have heard your cries and share your concern for this growing trend of giving babies whimsical names that mean something in Icelandic or whatever.

Though it seems to have fallen on hard times, Frank is a great name. (When’s the last time you met a baby named Frank, Fred, Big Al or Rupert?) So in an effort to bring some cache back to Frank, let us jog each other’s memories with a list of Franks who are/were awesome. Continue reading

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Face Off! Fergusson vs. Fraser

Welcome to our new Face Off! series, where we pit various F-things against one another and pick a winner through circumstantial evidence, biased preference or other arbitrary means.

This week we’re reigniting a good old-fashioned clan feud between Scottish surnames. Today’s battle pits two of the real Tartan titans: the Fergussons vs. the Frasers.

Which clan is better? Which has contributed more to society? Who has committed less hooliganism?

We’ll settle this Highland haver-fest once and for all today!

First let me begin by saying how much I respect the good people of Scotland. So hardy, independent, red-haired and good humored… That said, let the drinking jokes and Groundskeeper Willie references commence.

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Football Nicknames

For a brief moment in time, it seemed that learning world capitals was going to be the next big thing. People were all like “Podgorica this” and “Funafuti that.”

That fizzled faster than the idea of paying more than $1 for a cupcake, but you can’t hold good trivia down.

With that in mind we’re here to start a new, hot trivia trend – national football team nicknames. Keep in mind in this case we mean football as in “soccer.”

We’ve found through painstaking research that national nicknames tend be filed under one of a few distinct categories:

1.) animals

2.) unimaginative/lazy/nondescript (this includes all teams that refer to themselves as a color, or use a generic adjective to describe their performance)

3.)  _____ Boys(z), [Caribbean squads especially like this formula]

4.) funny natural resource boast/well thought out/generally awesome team name

5.) And last but not least, the ‘maybe this means something different in your native tongue?’ category.

Let’s look at some highlights from around the world. Continue reading

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Filed under F Athletics, Football, Foreign Lands